more than friends, less than lovers

such a good man. caring. understanding. sweet. cute. charming. funny. witty. honest. no pretentions. gentleman. everything a girl could ask for...

he'd text me every morning till night. even if i fall asleep without replying (which i often do so)...
he'd walk me to the lrt. even if 5 minutes was left before his class starts.
he'd hug me. and hug me. and hug me some more.
he'd call my celphone and talk for 30 minutes about stalkers and flowers.
he'd give me a stuffed toy so that i won't forget him when he goes to singapore (his future workplace).
he'd text me that he misses me when he was in singapore.
he'd put a smile on my face just by being himself.
he'd tell jokes, even if they were corny.
he'd dance around. and twirl me around. as if we knew how to dance.
he'd tell me that my punches can't hurt him because he's macho.
he'd accompany me until my dad came to fetch me.
he'd tell me different stories, starting off our conversations.
he'd tell me encouraging words when i'm in a down mood.
he'd hold my hand and never let go.
he'd get to know my friends and my school mommy better.
he'd promise to bring me to punta fuego and atc.
he'd ask me where i was and run to find me.
he'd text me and say that he's hoping he can see me before his class.
he'd be there for me.
he'd tell me that he loves me in bisaya.
he'd ask for just one chance while others asked for second chances.

he'd be the reason why i look forward to school everyday.
he'd make me laugh and smile and make my day brighter.

call me stupid. a coward. someone who can't fight for herself.

but the thing is, be it i like/love him or not, i'm just not strong enough to do what i can do... and that is fight for him. i'm tired of what is happening. i don't wanna face days that feel this bad anymore. i can't bring myself to do it. i admit that i'm a coward in my own way.

life is full of i-don't-knows. that's what he said. we don't know what the future has in store for us. the future's always a mystery.

but in this case, present tell the future for me. i can't disobey them. i don't have the strength to do so. i'm weak....

i don't know what's going to happen. no one knows. as he said, life is full of i-don't-knows.

i told my friend once, "the girl he's gonna like is gonna become real lucky." just so happens i did become that lucky girl. i was lucky to have him in my life. but luck just didn't agree with me.

as the saying goes, "most good things must come to an end." bull crap. but yet again, i don't know.

never did i think that i'd utter these words.

more than friends, less than lovers.