conflict

conflict
taken by esa

myself

i am someone who is delusional at times. someone who seeks for attention of others. someone who suffers from middle-child syndrome. someone who sees depression as an inspiration for writing. a poet. an emotional kid. but an optimist at the same time. weird. but true.

abandoned boots

abandoned boots
taken by esa

Thursday, March 27, 2008

el nido, palawan

i believe most people when they say that once you've stepped onto the beach, you'll find it hard to leave. shocking statement coming from someone (like me) who isn't a big fan of the open waters. however, after my el nido experience, i just want to keep going back for more.

palawan is such a beautiful place. it's my first time to go there, and i must say, i was amazed by its beauty. where we have land in manila is where there is water in palawan. :) they have no roads for cars, only the ocean for boats. we hopped from one island to the next and enjoyed each island for its own beauty and uniqueness.

day 1 (march 20)

our flight was 11:30am so my family and i left the house around 8:45am and went straight to a. soriano hangar. waited for my relatives (who were going with us) there. first thing we had to do was have our bags checked. and being an easily starved girl, i brought around 4-5 bags (for a 4 day 3 night stay) of junk food :) the guy checking my bag smiled at me and simply said that they had to make a hole in the junk food bags as to prevent it from popping when pressure arises on the plane (i think). so i allowed them, frettting over the fact that my junk food will lose its crispiness. hmph. so an advice to those of you who bring junk food on plane rides, BRING MASKING TAPE. so when they release the air in your oh-so-yummy junk food, you can tape the hole again as to preserve its crispiness. :) or bring ziploc bags so you can pour all your junk food there. :)

the plane ride took approx. 75 mins. a 19-seater private plane, we could see how the pilots maneuvered the airplane. it SEEMS like an easy task actually. they just push some buttons and we're off. hahahaha :) wonder what'll happen if i were to fly a plane. hahaha :) it's so cool how they have a computerized compass/navigator attached to their system. anyway, when we touched palawan grounds, a group of singing lolas and a kalabaw gave us a warm welcome by singing to us. we entered a bahay kubo (which was, i think, palawan's version of an airport) and waited for a LARGE jeep. i could stand up inside the jeep and still have space above my head. and no, i am not THAT small. :) took a less than 5 minute jeep ride to the dock where we met our to-and-from the airport guide. :) he took us to miniloc island.

upon reaching miniloc island, it was already past 1:00pm and everyone was starving. we couldn't really enjoy the staffers who were singing a "welcome to palawan, take care of the environment" song 'cause everyone's eyes were on the buffet table next to them. :)

we checked in to our respective rooms and then set out for our first destination - the small lagoon. it was a 20 minute or so boat ride from miniloc island. when we got there, our boat was stationed somewhere in the middle of the ocean, so we had to get on kayaks and kayak our way into a small hole in the rocks. :) it was fun and scary, since it was my first time to kayak. thankfully, my best cousin rode with me and he was the one shouting directions and how to maneuver the kayak. not to mention that there were around a hundred times we ran into rocks and i had to push our kayak away from the rock. :) but we managed. and i'm glad we did. 'cuz who would have thought that inside that hole was a sight to behold. the water was deep but we could see sea urchins, fish, and my sister got lucky enough to spot a baby shark (hammerhead, if i'm not mistaken). kuya chito, who was our guide from that time onwards, stated that the baby shark would stay in the small lagoon till it grew a bit bigger then it would swim to the ocean. it's when it swims out (or when it reaches its adolescence stage) when it will be able to eat people.

the first day was spent kayaking and exploring the resort, which was really nice :)

day 2 to follow. :)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

the revenge of the rat



our house is under renovation. things are scattered everywhere. boxes are piled up. and without you knowing it, things start vanishing. that's RAT HAVEN.

and THAT is what happened to us.

a bagel went missing. everyone remembered it to be on the table. the last bagel, to be eaten by either my sister or my dad, was gone.

one of my sister's socks was not on the floor. it's become my sister's habit to take off her socks and leave it at the side of the door whenever she comes home. the helpers usually get the pile of clothes there either before they go to sleep or early in the morning. my mom noticed that one of my sister's socks was left on the floor. she assumed that maybe the helper dropped the sock when she took the laundry out.

same situation goes for my sister's "sapin" (towel).

noises were heard during the night. boxes seemed to make noises on their own. and there was clattering behind the kitchen stove.

our helpers pulled the stove out a while ago. and what do you know? the bread, bagel, sock, towel, and a lot more things were behind that stove. not to mention that these things had the honor of being blessed with rat's pooh.

unfortunately, i was at work. and so, i couldn't witness the revealing-of-stolen-stuff first hand.

really, now. how can a rat as cute as the one in ratatouille be as irritating as the rat in the house? you get this quirky feeling of wanting to throw up and get the hell out of the place whenever you see a rat.


based from wikipedia:

"Rats are various medium sized rodents. Rats are sociable, intelligent animals and can be trained to use a litter box, come when called, and perform a variety of tricks. Rats, like all mammals, are edible by humans and are sometimes captured and eaten in emergency situations. A rat has an average life span of 2-3 years."

rodents - i agree.
medium sized - i would say the size varies (i'd say the rat here would be XL).
sociable - to fellow rats?
intelligent - i'd have to agree.
come when called - why doesn't the rat here do that?!
perform a variety of tricks - specialty: the vanishing act
edible by humans - come again?! it's really new to me that some people actually eat rats. *shudder* but then again, maybe rats are eaten only during emergency situations. ugh.
A RAT HAS A LIFE SPAN OF 2-3 YEARS. - can't they cut it down to 2 weeks? 2 days? :D

if you believe in karma, you think it'd be possible that you were a rat in your previous life?

Monday, March 10, 2008

today and the past few days

the past few days are a blur. i can say that time has robbed me off the feeling of "cherish" and "hope."

a pessimistic thought. a feeling of detachment. a longing for freedom.

i am free. but i guess even freedom has its limitations.

free but restricted to the wants and likes of others. i seek the truth and it shows itself after
years and years of yearning. my mission in life - to make their dreams come true. what's worse is that you can't contradict them. it's hard to contradict people whom you know to be your parents.

you want the world to understand you. as someone once told me, "you think the world doesn't understand you. but maybe they do. maybe it's just you not wanting the world to understand."

is money that important a thing in life? who am i kidding, of course it is. is money that much important that you have to do what you're being told to do? who am i kidding, beggars (or should i say children) can't choose. is money more important t
han doing what you love doing? who am i kidding, i don't know the answer to that.

"you should be thankful that you have a job. wala kang utang na loob. you don't know how to cherish what you have. it's not as if you're gonna earn a lot when you enter media."

you've been put down your whole life. you have no pride left to show others. your tea
chers, relatives, FAMILY have all agreed to the fact that you have no brains and that your sister is way smarter than you (in fact, it's an insult to compare you to her). then your other sister comes along, being all pretty and active (plus the fact that she's the apple-of-the-family's-eye) and of course, you're nobody again.

you want to enter the "real world." media is the name of your game. you're ready to face it. you know you'll have failures, but you know that there will always be times of success. then it comes, it so happens that they have plans for you (or maybe you weren't just fast enough to get a job). you get stuck in the family business, with no new friends and no one to talk to. you see your sister meeting new people (with her same interests, etc.) and you wonder when you'll have your taste of happiness or if you ever will.


"i want to try to apply at a media company."
"you won't earn that much." (with the unspoken thought bei
ng: you won't be able to earn as much as you sister. you might disgrace us. you have no brains and talent, so why work someplace else?)
"ok.but i'll try to apply."
"you don't know how to be thankful for what you have. you have a job. others don't. you think a job in media will give you the stability you have now? you don't know the real world. plus, if you look for another job, who says that we'll take you back in the fam business if you don't get the job?"

seriously. it sucks. big time.

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the beatles are a classic. but i've never really heard their songs. until the movie "across the universe" was shown in theaters. the movie was a dedication to the group and featured songs like let it be, black bird, dear prudence, hey jude, lucy in the sky with diamonds, i am a walrus, etc.

the thing i love the most about the movie is that it exudes a psychedelic ambiance, and before you know it, you're swaying to the music (as if you were a junkie, in a good way). composed of three acts/parts, you will be able to tell the difference in terms of the sounds. it starts with fun and light-hearted songs. when the climax nears, the genre of the songs become a big help in supporting the emotions the scenes need.

it's amazing how
they used the songs to tell the story. there's this scene when the song "i want you" was playing. it was, for me, dark humor since the brother was being sent to fight the war, but it's funny when you see the brother being terrorized by the posters of a clown-faced guy who sings the lyrics "i want you so bad." i give high praise to the choreography of the movie. it was very well choreographed.

when it comes to artistic qualities, they used a lot of paint and underwater scenes. it made the movie lo
ok more magical, more unreal, and more hypnotizing.

it's a unique mixture of graphic arts, video, and music. i believe that those who are interested in those fields will have a blast when watching "across the universe." and esp. those who are fans of the beatles, it's a classic.

i guess what made me really like the movi
e is the feeling it gives you. it makes you feel "high," like you're on drugs or medication. it makes you feel happy, so light, so satisfyingly dizzy. it takes all the pain and frustrations away.

it's certainly a must-see. :)