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happy birthday to my mom! :) love her very much. love her dearly to the max. :)
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i'm here at the benildean yearbook office right now. just chatted with denmarc and told him that our film's already in eric's hands for scoring. i hope everything turns out well with the film.
i feel so left out here. i guess it may be because i haven't spent much time here in the office for the past term. But i do try to make up for the time lost. might be 'cause i'm not that close with the new staffers and that i do miss the bond i had with the old staffers, but being here in the office right now just seems different. i feel left out and, for quite some time now, the perkiness i used to have has toned down.
i want to be the person i was before - fun, carefree, and enjoyable. but i guess it'll take a lot of time and guts to bring that person back again.
maybe it's just me. i've changed. maybe that's why i feel left out. that's why, at times, i feel that no one understands me. i'm weird, that's a given. but i guess there are times my weird ness brings the best out in me.
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how can someone have that much hate in his heart? i don't remember doing much damage to his life, but him hating me is such a terrible issue. it's bad enough that our friendship was ruined, but bad-mouth me? tell another person that i'm going to ruin the person's life? i may be a bitch, but i don't have the guts to ruin someone's life.
i don't want this issue to bother me or anything. but i guess the feeling of knowing someone hates you stays in you till forever.
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race, place, and class - someone once told me that those are the three things that become big issues against us. maybe so or maybe not. only time can tell, or so they say.
what is happiness? for me, having everyone i love happy is my happiness. and i guess my happiness doesn't really depend on me... sad but true.
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dreamcatchers. so beautiful. so peaceful. so mysterious. so perfect in its own imperfections. why can't everything be that way? or am i the only one who doesn't allow it be?
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last time i wrote an entry was a few days before school. now i type an entry a few weeks after the start of school. and i can describe my last few weeks in a word: CRAZY.. i have to write my thesis proposal this term. THIS TERM. i have to write and submit my thesis proposal in the next 11 weeks or else i fail the class. and i don't even have a concrete idea or thesis statement yet. but no, it is still not the time to panic. i still have 11 weeks to think of a topic, research on every single freaking question or detail the panel would most likely ask me about, and submit an astounding thesis proposal. hmm.. not bad. not bad at all. if i had the mind of einstein. but no, i have to come up with something soon. because the clock's ticking and i still have no idea on what i'm supposed to do (hey, that sounded like a line from a song.. cooL! pwede na akong songwriter!) i don't know how i'm going to set a play in, i dunno, a different era or something. it's like setting 'the importance of being earnest' in african template. hahahahaha :) where the monkeys talk to each other.. hahaha :) now, i'm undoubtedly insane. .. aside from the thesis proposal, we have an upcoming production to trouble ourselves with. yes, the undying power of THE BIRDS. i have been a student-who-wants-nothing-to-do-with-the-play to the stage manager to the production manager. tsk tsk tsk. well, i welcome the opportunity and all, but i don't know if i can handle the load. wah. ack. erk. blag. poof. and production manager! God help me. this prodcution isn't like any other typical production. no, what's exciting about this production is that it's a mixture of black light theater, animation, dance, and live action. yeah, it's cool. but it's hard and time consuming as well. ... as if the being part of the play wasn't enough, one of my professors assigned me to organize the field trip we'll be having this coming february. i welcome the acknowledgement and duty, but the problem is... i only know one-fourth of the class. the three-fourths... i thought that we had this bond that we only had during our class. okay, PR skills to be put to use once again. oh bloody hell. but i guess organizing a field trip wouldn't be that hard... it's just the bus, the places we're going to, the food, the itinerary, the contact nos. of my classmates (i don't even know their names!)... yeah, it'll be easy. this wouldn't have been endowed upon me if i didn't know what to do. waaaaah!!!!!! .... and i still have to sit through my 6-9 classes. i'm guessing one of my professor's favorite dish is FROTHY delight. yeah, his saliva froths up in the corners of his mouth every time he talks. one word: yuck. and as if that wasn't enough, he has this weird way of talking. my friends and i have been intellectually debating on whether he was once a poor person (as in squatter) or if he was just really maltreated financially. plus, we're actually getting used to him and not actually laugh out loud in front of him. we have mastered the power of CONTROL. ..... and one of my professors actually told us he'd drop us if we came to class unprepared again... waaaah!!!! but the topics he gives us are hard... and... and... and... we can't understand every single thing... and... and... and... i'm dead meat if i don't master my report for next week... ...... breathe. breathe. breathe. i'm heaving. ....... at least i have a subject that actually required us to watch POTC2 so that we can discuss the cinematography in class. least it's something i'm gonna love doing. except for the fact that it's cinematography. and POTC2? i think most scenes were CG generated (did i say it correctly?) or green-screened. i mean, i have no doubt brokeback mountain's cinematography is to die for but the prof doesn't want to watch the movie. oh well, professor's orders. me? i just want to enjoy the show :) and, well, take note of some shots that look interesting. :)
my vacation days are numbered. going back to school in a few days. not excited but not glum either. i've come to accept the fact that going to school is inevitable and that i should just take in the agony. hmm... agony would be exaggerating it a bit since i do tend to have fun in school, but still! i don't wanna go to school... not just yet. but then again, when did life ever hear my plea? i figure i'm actually speaking nonsense right now. as in COMPLETE nonsense. but that's how i am when there are two days left of absolute freedom before being locked behind the bars of an excruciating term-to-be. come to think of it, i might actually enjoy this coming term. but then again, 'might' is the same as 'akala' and "maraming namamatay sa akala" or so they say. what will be in store for me this term? the same pressure? the same agony? the same frustrations? i hope not. i don't want to be howling into another friend's ear in the middle of the term, saying, "i don't want this life anymore! i need help!" or lovingly gazing at the different bottles of pills and wondering what the world would be like without me in it. hmmm.... i might actually write a script about that. what would life be without me. thoughts of a lunatic-in-disguise. not a bad idea. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------spent christmas and new year's with my family clan and food. all sorts of food. christmas wouldn't be complete without my guama's (grandmother-mother side) special lumpia lunch. and of course new year's eve wouldn't be new year's eve if not for our annual pot-luck dinner party over at my grandmama's. and then we also have our annual get-together over at my uncle's house. got to chit-chat with my UNCLE jeff, who is younger than me and my chinese classmate back in high school. it was fun. missed talking to him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------i guess i wouldn't be surprised if i need glasses anytime soon. i've been watching tons of vcds these days. my way of slacking off and letting the whole world know it. i know it's nothing to be proud of. but hey, i didn't spend the whole day in front of the tv. half maybe, not the whole though. there's a big difference. little manhattan. the family stone. the classic. tuck everlasting. red eye. one-fourth of star wars (it was on star movies, didn't get to watch the whole thing). etc. plus watched kasal, kasali, kasalo and zsa zsa zaturnnah on the movie screen. kkk was good. zsa zsa... i'd rather watch the play. which reminds me, zsa zsa ze musikal is to be shown at ccp this jan. 19-28 (if i'm not mistaken) at the ccp-tanghalang huseng batute. so watch now! omg. i sound like an ad. that's bad. but really, it's a must-see. and no, i don't earn anything by advertising it. i wish i did, but i don't. i have got to stop speaking nonsense. crap. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------so there, i'm really happy to go back to school. honest. go figure. yech. --------------------------------------------------------------------------kid: sasabungin ko siya sayo.mother: susumbungin.kid: sasabungin ko siya. sabi niya sakin "buti nga!"kids. go figure. hahahaha :)
