lrt incidents

LRT incident#1:

the train was crowded. i saw two girls and a baby seated in front of me. i'm assuming one was the mother and the other the sister. the baby, around 1 or 2 years old, started mumbling and was getting cranky. the next thing i knew, the mom was lifting her shirt up and she started to breastfeed the baby.

it was a charming sight.. mother-daughter love. but it was kind of weird to see someone breastfeed in a very public place. good thing the cabin we were in was all-girls. but still, i don't think i'd ever get myself to do that.

well, at least the baby got quiet after. :)


LRT incident#2:

i was listening to my mp3 while texting my friends. i was on my way to a party, a sort-of despedida party to one of my high school professors who's going back to UK soon. my head was bowed down when i felt someone tap me on the arm. when i looked up, i saw one of my high school friends. :) it took us long enough to meet each other on the lrt. we've been taking the train ever since our college lives began, and it was a shock to see her actually standing in front of me in her uniform after a long time. :)

we chatted all the way. it was really fun to catch up on things. she's one the future's famous pharmacists and i can really see that she's finding her way to the top :) good luck to her. :)

it was such a lovely surprise. :)

oh well, back to thesis mode for me. :) hahahaha :)

and oh yeah, happy birthday to my buddy!!!! :)

a few words.

i was supposed to stop everything. i was supposed to start anew. my life was a mess. well, it still is. but i believe that everything will take its place in due time.

i have been torn in two situations for the past few months. i've been a caterpillar choosing between two branches to spin its cocoon. i have two choices. but there can only be one path to take.

i had to choose between my family and friends. i had to fight both sides to gain my happiness. but in the end, my happiness was sacrificed. in both sides. i have lots to learn, esp. in the turn of events. i have lost old friends yet have gained new ones.

i have lost a loved one. someone i cared for. someone i loved. maybe still love. someone i can't have. this may be the last entry i write about him.

i wonder if he will get the chance to read this. i doubt it. but even so, this is what i would like to say:

i love you. but you know that we can't be with each other. for reasons that i myself don't understand. it will an eternity of mystery. a life full of "what ifs." i love you, mybe. but maybe my love isn't enough to suffice the pain, hurt, and chaos that goes under the roof. it's a chaotic world i'm in when i'm with you. a world full of love yet full of anger and hate. it's an oxymoron that will forever stay true. we both have stayed true to each other. that i know. i have loved you more than you'll ever know. the three words that have been sacred, you got them out from me. my heart i have given to you a long time ago. i can't have you, mybe. it's a painstaking situation. an unforgiving choice. a sacrifice i don't think anyone, even you, will understand. but i will forever cherish you. your memories. your being you. i will forever love you. a promise that i will sincerely keep.

i am so proud of you. you've done a great deal. and i won't be surprised when, one day, i'll see your face on magazines and papers stating you to be one successful man. i will be proud of you. like i am now. i have faith in you. i always have and always will. together forever. yet always apart. a line i got from the love of reading.

tears will never stop coming, esp. when i have thoughts of you. but now, we are given a new chance to start. i don't know where the wind will take us. i don't know if fate will be by my side. i know that you are a good man. and i know that a lot of girls will fall for you. it's a pity that i can't be with you. it's a loss i want the people i label as "enemies" to see. it's my sacrifice. my love for you. and sadly, your love for me.

i love you, mybe. together forever yet always apart. a line i will keep close to my heart.

.....

come what may.

the jury has spoken.

the gamble is still on.

dry eyes don't mean dry pillows.

it's been three months. well, nearly three months since we've parted ways. it's been almost twelve weeks of not being with you. of not being able to talk to you.

i don't know why it's so hard to let you go. some part of me says it's guilt. another part of me says it's regret. but mostly, i think it's love.

it's hard for me to love someone. that's something i just discovered. it's hard for me to say "i love you." those three words, especially coming from me, mean a lot more than a kiss. i wish i said more i-love-you's when we were still together.

people tell me it's wrong to regret. "if you keep holding on to the past, how can you know what lies ahead?" i have to move forward. but with you, one step forward takes me two steps back.

i still fight for you, you know? i still tell the people about what a good person you are. i still tell them stories about you.

it's been three months.

i'm dating someone now. my thoughts can't keep going back to you. esp. with the given situation. but it's so hard. i can't get you off my mind. "can i swallow this bottle whole?"

i saw you a while ago. you were being awarded. a dean's lister for three consecutive terms. i'm so proud of you. i wish i could've showed you that a while ago. you did it! you achieved a dream of yours. i'm so proud of you. i just wish i could hug you.

i miss you so much.

and i still long for you. if it's not too much to ask. will you wait for me? can you wait for me?

can we wait for each other?

i can't do this anymore. who should i follow? heart or mind? myself or my family?

whose happiness should matter more?

damn. i hate these questions. i hate them.

i wish you were here to help me solve these qualms of mine.

but you're not.

dry eyes don't necessarily mean dry pillows. don't let my outer appearance fool you.

you don't know me THAT well.

a gamble.

anger. it feels so powerful. rage. it feels so good.

i welcome the change. i need the change.

i can't be the old me anymore. the fun has drained within me.

a new life. a new beginning. maybe that's all there is for me.

everyone has their own time for "re-inventions." it's my time.


the grass isn't that green anymore. the water will never be as blue.

the wall is not that sturdy. every aspect is now new.

an old personality left behind. a guarded person's point of view.

a new chance to grow. a new story to be told.

when the right time comes, then may the grief and hurt unfold.


life now. happy and content. i guess there'll always be something missing. if we felt complete, then we wouldn't be striving to 'complete' ourselves. i played a game once in my life. i gambled with fate and faith. it's too early to tell if i have lost or won. but all i can say is that a new life now, i am bound to create.

i will miss you. and i will love you forever. but i guess there are things that need to be sacrificed. selfish but true. not just for me, but also for you.

he treats me well. and i do like him.

but as always, 'come what may.'

the gamble still continues. i am still in the game.

long-time no talk. pvc pipes

it was nice being able to talk to some friends again... some friends i've not had the chance to catch up with. :) nice hearing them tell stories about their lives and how their courses are affecting their lives.

we've all changed. from the innocent first years we were back then to more mature and experienced adults we are right now. we've all changed. as the saying goes,"day by day, nothing much changes. but when we look back, everything's different."

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my pvc project is actually standing! hahaha :) rugin and i spent almost the whole afternoon at the scene shop yesterday. we were glue-ing the pvc pipes together. to make things worse, one pvc pipe had the wrong measurement, so we kinda had to force it to fit the setup. hahaha :) thus, coming out with the slogan, "kahit hindi papantay, papantayin namin!" hahaha :)

even found out that rug actually knew how to handle a saw. :) hahahaha :) i was impressed. she cut off part of an extra pvc to try to extend the wrong measured piece. she kept on chanting, "isipin mo buto 'to ni kalbo." hahahaha :) it was really hilarious actually. :) even the kuya on that floor sympathized with us. "panlalaking gawain yan ha, bakit kayo yung gumagawa?" hahaha :) well, kuya.. in some cases, everyone's equal. :) but in total honesty, i enjoyed it. :) need to put the finishing touches tomorrow then i'm good to go with my project#2 :)

how i feel today.

said by raven:

meaning to say, believe in ur abilities.. totoo na hindi tayo lahat pare-parehas ng kakayanan, but one thing that will make things happen is your confidence din... kung baga, dagdag mo yun sa sarili mo... wag kang kukulangan nun... kasi yun ang motivating factor mo eh..

'nuff said.