twilight

the last time i had this feeling was when i read harry potter. the feeling of wanting something more from life. the feeling of confusion. the feeling of fear. fear from growing old, i guess. this is how much novels, or should i say storybooks, like harry potter and most recently, the twilight series affect me after reading them.

i never expected that a novel about a vampire and a human falling in love would give me this feeling. i would guess that i feel awed by the passion and love they edward and bella have for each other. maybe also by the way edward is described in the novel - a vampire so close to perfection that his flaws can easily be overlooked. and bella - an independent teenage girl who has the willpower and motivation that can fill up a whole auditorium. i may be feeling this way 'cause of the whole scenario. edward coming to the rescue every time bella needs him. or edward being able to sneak in bella's room without ever being caught. yet the love story was still between a vampire and a human. it was flawed in every way possible, but it was perfect the way it is.

then comes the comparison between the characters' edward and bella, romeo and juliet. star-crossed lovers. an impossible love. the difference there, though, was that romeo and juliet were against the laws of tradition and family. yet edward and bella were going against the laws of nature.

another emotion i had to deal with was that of immortality and mortality. you see, i've never really gotten over "tuck everlasting." immortality is honestly such a beautiful thing to offer. imagine, not having to rush yourself into things. having all the time in the world. what more if you the people you love were also immortal. is there any other reason to shy away from immortality?

the issue on immortality would then lead to fear of growing old. yes, i am scared of growing old. i see myself not having enough time to do all the things i want to do. one of my fellow plurkers mentioned that, "maybe you shouldn't desire so much, then you wouldn't have the need and want to do so much." then maybe the fear of growing old would subside.

the feeling i'm having right now is a feeling no words can describe. it's a mixture of confusion, excitement, fear, and so much more. it's a feeling i don't like having yet i welcome the experience of having it.

.... or maybe it's just my time of the month. i will never know.

there was an e-mail that was sent to me - full of love quotes from movies. here was one of the lines that caught my eye.

I would rather have had
One breath of her hair,
One kiss from her mouth,
One touch of her hand,
Than an eternity without it. ---CITY OF ANGELS

maybe i just have to wait for the fourth and fifth book of the twilight series. maybe then would my qualms would be at ease. :)

i am seriously so hungover the book. hahahaha :)plus, the movie will be coming out on dec. 12 this year! yay! :)

the thing with good books such as twilight is that the author pulls you into their world - so perfect, so magical, so hypnotic - it makes it more difficult to come back to reality.

*photos taken from flicker.com/littlebrownbooks and imdb.com