substitutes.

thing is... i thought it was over. most of it anyway.

you ever get the feeling that something will just go away when you don't need to deal with it every day anymore?

like college friends. you become close with them during your college days. they become the people you trust the most. you come to think that you guys understand one another... to the core of each other's personalities. but when you graduate, does that hard core relationship still remain? that's when you realize the importance of high school friends.

to quote kirsten dunst in elizabeth town, "we're the substitute people."

a group of friends. a lover. a tradition. i thought it was over. but when i saw the pictures of you and your group of college friends... it was different. given our situation, i knew that even if i wanted to... even if we were still together, i wouldn't be part of the pictures anyway... because i wouldn't be allowed to go.

i though that maybe... just maybe... if i let on with my life... if i found comfort within my high school friends... i would forget.

maybe that's it. i should just go on with my life. like you have done yours (i hope...) though even the thought of you with another girl is honestly enough to be my downfall.

we're the substitute people. everyone/everything is. college friends become the substitute for high school friends. laughter becomes the substitute for pain. acceptance becomes the substitute for demise.

i thought not knowing what went on with the lives of my friends in college would be the answer to it all. they were the ones who knew you after all. who knew us. and our relationship. maybe... if i didn't see pictures, i wouldn't be able admit to myself that you were leading a life without me.

i have to let go. i know. it's just how it should be. after what i've done, i don't see any reason why you should gamble your love with me again.

we're the substitute people. all of us are substitutes. all of us are substituted. but how about you? can your place even be substituted?