duyan ng kagitingan

musang (aica), inag-tala (hana), ba'e diw-ata (phangga)

ilang (rugin) and handmaiden2/ba'e laiya (me)

duyan ng kagitingan is finally in the bag. :) a term of hardships, rehearsals, pressure, and patience has finally paid off. we staged the production on august 24 (6pm) and 25 (8pm). :) there are no words to explain how happy and honored i am to actually be part of the production. :) everything was so action packed - from the prologue to the epilogue of the play. :) the audience were always on the lookout for the fight scenes. :) no words can explain the beauty of our costumes, make-up, and of course, the lights. :) everything just meshed so well... :) it was, in a weird way, perfect in its own imperfection. :) did i just make any sense? :) hahaha :)

of course there were times we stumbled over our lines, had mental black, and made mistakes with our blockings... but it is nonetheless one of the greatest plays ever staged :) then again, i'm biased :) hahaha :)
it was also nice to see friends and family gather around to watch our production. :) we had a "full house" on the 24th and nothing would explain the nervousness yet excitement and happiness we all felt inside :) then came the open forum.. our play was part of ccp's "waiting in the wings" program... a lot of people commented on our play - from the fight scenes to the arnis usage to the indigenous filipino plot :)
in short, i just really feel fulfilled. :) plus the fact that most, if not all, of us who stood hand-in-hand to make this production possible were students of the De La Salle- College of Saint Benilde :)

it was really cool working with people from different year levels and courses... we all had our own areas of expertise but like magic, we all hit it off quite well :)
another production accomplished. :) hopefully, many more to come :)

prayer...

first things first, it's officially shirley's birthday today!!! so.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHERLOTZ!!! :) well, i was the second one to greet her... my record has been broken... shucks.. hahaha :) happy, happy birthday to my twinie :) one of the best, best friends i have... love her a lot :)

hmm... went to the chapel a while ago... :) a start.. i know... haha :) it was really nice actually... the ambience, the fragrant smell, the lighting, the guy playing his guitar at the back as he sang a few lines from a christian song. :) it was my definition of a perfect scenery. i felt so relaxed, so at home, so light. it was really, really, really nice :) want to do it again sometime soon... :) plus, the company... :) hehehe :P

he asked me, "if there's one thing you would ask God for, what would it be?"
i looked him in the eyes and smiled. i closed my eyes and prayed. i felt him bow his head down too as he closed his eyes in a silent prayer.
i opened my eyes. i smiled. i looked at him and said, "tara, hannah's waiting outside."
he agreed.
i told joey and martian we'd head outside first. they smiled and said they'd follow.

when we were outside, he and hannah told me some bible stories, thanks to the macquettes displayed outside the chapel... haha :)
i was impressed. :)
with my situation right now, i asked God for two things a while ago: open minds and freedom. God knows what's best for me.


he looked at me and smiled... if there was one thing you would ask God for, what would it be?

i smiled back.

i needn't tell him what i would ask for.

my that one prayer had already been answered. ;)

decision

damn.

my life is full of shit right now. worthless. unfair. prejudiced. controlled. i'm stuck in the middle. don't know where to go. i'm stuck.

hell broke loose. i'm drowning. no way out. i'm drowning. i'm helpless. i'm hopeless. no other way. i'm drowning.

i'm a coward.

no one understands. no one... damn it.

can't live like this anymore. just can't.

more than friends, less than lovers. for me, that's final. take it from me. i said that. it's what i want. my decision.

shit. i AM a coward. hypocrite. freak. coward.

people do become their hatest enemies. i'm becoming my own worst nightmare. double shit.

damn.

so help me God.

and help him understand. i can't do this anymore.

more than friends, less than lovers. that's my deal. take it or leave it.

damn.

courage. will. justice. freedom. choice. all gone. one remains. fear.

i am who i am. this is who i am. this is my life.

coward.

damn.

17 days to go...

picture: (from left) rugin, hannah, arnie, me, jackie, kuya andrew, and sir paul at the center :)

we have roughly 17 days to go before our play at ccp... :) 17 days to practice/rehearse and have arnis training... yikes! :) kinda exciting and scary at the same time... it's gonna be real fun since we're the ones who're gonna act and set up the place (lights!!! yay!) but scary too since we are kind of under rehearsed still... hehe :) but nonetheless, i'm sure it's gonna be one worthwhile experience. :)

hope a lot of people will get the chance to watch this production of ours. it's an original script written by nathan mazo and translated by nikki torres :) script was developed by our director miss alfon :) dance numbers are choreographed by arnie umayam and our fight scenes are choreographed by sir paul :)

"duyan ng kagitingan" showing dates are august 24 and 25. both 8pm at the tanghalang huseng batute. :)

17 days left.... gosh... :) at least 17 more days of 6-9 rehearsals... hahaha :) plus the workload we have for our other subjects!!! waaaah!!!! :) thus the saying, it's tiring but it's fun :)