depression seems to be my best friend these days... might be because of the semi-debate about life and death i had with migs a few weeks (or days) ago... why do we suffer in this world? why are we here if we didn't even choose to live in the first place? we didn't ask God to give us life in order to suffer... if God loves us so much, why doesn't he just satisfy us all so that there won't be any wars or whatsoever? for me, people endure the mood swings or bad days or sufferings because they know that there's something good waiting for them in the end... but migs had a point saying that in the end, we all die. there is nothing in the end except death. steffen and hannah told me that death is the end for all of us, unless you believe in afterlife... but at least before dying, you've felt happy and satisfied... this topic is just too much for me as of the moment.. i love talking about life and death, debating about it and all.. but that conversation i had with migs depressed me for a lot of days... i don't know why; it just did...
you know the feeling of being lonely when, in fact, you're not alone? you have friends, family, people around you who love you, but yet you still feel alone... you sit alone during a production, at the far end of your block mates who are cuddling up to their boyfriends... you know that your friends will always be there for you, but yet you still feel alone. the feeling sucks. having someone you care about tell you to break free, move on, and live a better life. sucks, but it's the truth. wearing a fake smile, telling you he's doing great while hearing from others that he's sad and all... knowing that that round and beautiful moon you once saw will never be as beautiful anymore, not without the person you shared the beauty of the moon with. big deal of nonsense. blabbering weakness. love turns to hatred. eating one alive.
can't wait for vacation... seems like i won't be spending my 18th birthday in the philippines... oh well...
sucks being depressed.
anyways, back to work for me.
3 comments:
di ako sanay na ganyan ka...Always remember that God is always there but still hawak mo parin life mo...U're a very good person kaya I know na God is still writing ur love story...just wait...And appreciate the beauty of life were still here...love you
Emotions are such complicated things. There are times when we let them take reign. I've always believed you can make yourself happy by thinking happy thoughts (mind over heart). Yet recently, i have found that it is hard. It is so much easier to just go along with your feelings but i guess it takes discipline to control our emotions. Letting ourselves be run by emotions, we tend to become pains in the ass not only to ourselves but to others as well.
I guess that a part of our lives will always be embedded in past experiences - be it success or failure - yet we have to learn how to live forward while looking back on these experiences, and not let ourselves be entrapped and held back - unable to progress and move on - by these experiences.
Hang in there. This "ho hum" period too will pass. I'm here if you need me, as is God. ^o^ God bless!
TREATMENT IMPOTENCE
BUY CHEAP CIALIS ONLINE. LOW-PRICES ONLINE PHARMACY..!!
WOMAN VIAGRA
PURCHASE CHEAP VIAGRA.DYSFUNCTION ERECTILE NEW MEDS
Post a Comment