today and the past few days

the past few days are a blur. i can say that time has robbed me off the feeling of "cherish" and "hope."

a pessimistic thought. a feeling of detachment. a longing for freedom.

i am free. but i guess even freedom has its limitations.

free but restricted to the wants and likes of others. i seek the truth and it shows itself after years and years of yearning. my mission in life - to make their dreams come true. what's worse is that you can't contradict them. it's hard to contradict people whom you know to be your parents.

you want the world to understand you. as someone once told me, "you think the world doesn't understand you. but maybe they do. maybe it's just you not wanting the world to understand."

is money that important a thing in life? who am i kidding, of course it is. is money that much important that you have to do what you're being told to do? who am i kidding, beggars (or should i say children) can't choose. is money more important than doing what you love doing? who am i kidding, i don't know the answer to that.

"you should be thankful that you have a job. wala kang utang na loob. you don't know how to cherish what you have. it's not as if you're gonna earn a lot when you enter media."

you've been put down your whole life. you have no pride left to show others. your teachers, relatives, FAMILY have all agreed to the fact that you have no brains and that your sister is way smarter than you (in fact, it's an insult to compare you to her). then your other sister comes along, being all pretty and active (plus the fact that she's the apple-of-the-family's-eye) and of course, you're nobody again.

you want to enter the "real world." media is the name of your game. you're ready to face it. you know you'll have failures, but you know that there will always be times of success. then it comes, it so happens that they have plans for you (or maybe you weren't just fast enough to get a job). you get stuck in the family business, with no new friends and no one to talk to. you see your sister meeting new people (with her same interests, etc.) and you wonder when you'll have your taste of happiness or if you ever will.

"i want to try to apply at a media company."
"you won't earn that much." (with the unspoken thought being: you won't be able to earn as much as you sister. you might disgrace us. you have no brains and talent, so why work someplace else?)
"ok.but i'll try to apply."
"you don't know how to be thankful for what you have. you have a job. others don't. you think a job in media will give you the stability you have now? you don't know the real world. plus, if you look for another job, who says that we'll take you back in the fam business if you don't get the job?"

seriously. it sucks. big time.

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the beatles are a classic. but i've never really heard their songs. until the movie "across the universe" was shown in theaters. the movie was a dedication to the group and featured songs like let it be, black bird, dear prudence, hey jude, lucy in the sky with diamonds, i am a walrus, etc.

the thing i love the most about the movie is that it exudes a psychedelic ambiance, and before you know it, you're swaying to the music (as if you were a junkie, in a good way). composed of three acts/parts, you will be able to tell the difference in terms of the sounds. it starts with fun and light-hearted songs. when the climax nears, the genre of the songs become a big help in supporting the emotions the scenes need.

it's amazing how they used the songs to tell the story. there's this scene when the song "i want you" was playing. it was, for me, dark humor since the brother was being sent to fight the war, but it's funny when you see the brother being terrorized by the posters of a clown-faced guy who sings the lyrics "i want you so bad." i give high praise to the choreography of the movie. it was very well choreographed.

when it comes to artistic qualities, they used a lot of paint and underwater scenes. it made the movie look more magical, more unreal, and more hypnotizing.

it's a unique mixture of graphic arts, video, and music. i believe that those who are interested in those fields will have a blast when watching "across the universe." and esp. those who are fans of the beatles, it's a classic.

i guess what made me really like the movie is the feeling it gives you. it makes you feel "high," like you're on drugs or medication. it makes you feel happy, so light, so satisfyingly dizzy. it takes all the pain and frustrations away.

it's certainly a must-see. :)