i'm at the students publications office right now... and just read the latest entry of someone's blog...
"thinking you've found true love, when it hasn't found you..." the one line that has been stuck in my head since that fortunate phone call... you guys can describe it to be a bad case of LSS (last song syndrome), thanks to my mp3 player songs... but then again, there's always the reason being that it's the state i am in right now.
i actually don't know what to do right now... i wanna write every single detail here, but that would be revealing my whole private life now, wouldn't it? hehehe :) all i can say is that there's this guy that i met just last month (i think...) i know i know... silly, isn't it? liking someone after knowing him for a short while... but what can i do? it ain't my fault if i fall easily...
it's actually my first time to feel this way... it's different... it's really different... it isn't just any crush that's gone by the next sunrise... i understand his part, and i respect his reasons...
the weird thing right now is i don't know what to do... most of my friends tell me to get on with my life... but i don't know why i'm having a hard time doing so... told yah i'm weird... hehe...
another question running through my head is if he ever liked me or not... was he just being nice or was he being true? i chose to believe his actions... yes, i felt that he liked me... but right now, i'm not sure if it was just my imagination or if it was real...
honestly... i dunno what to do... should i just move on with my life? or should i wait? as of now, my choice is to wait... but then again, when did i ever make the right choices...?
"come what may," the saying i live by... easy to say, but hard to do... esp. in cases like these...
have you ever felt that for once in your life, everything was perfect? there were imperfections, like stress and bad moods, but other than that, i felt really happy and everything was in place... i enjoyed every waking moment of my life... every single minute i lived... every text i received... every smile i saw.... every laugh i heard... every prayer i said... i loved everything... even my family saw how happy i was... and then, it all went away...
i know, silly me...
sad as i am, i still have to put on that happy face... :) a smile...
but yes, i miss him... a lot...
conflict
myself
- esa
- i am someone who is delusional at times. someone who seeks for attention of others. someone who suffers from middle-child syndrome. someone who sees depression as an inspiration for writing. a poet. an emotional kid. but an optimist at the same time. weird. but true.
abandoned boots
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